Make the decision that you'll no longer use excuses to keep you from what you know is in your best interest. Today, act on something you've always avoided and explained away with a convenient excuse. Make a phone call you've been putting off, write a letter to a friend, put on a pair of walking shoes and go for a stroll, clean out your closet--do something you've been justifying not doing with excuses.
Most of the time, father's are neglected grievers....While we know a lot about grief now, people still aren't sure how to respond to a man's feelings. It's safer to ask "how your wife is doing" then to ask how you feel. As a man you have a lot of thoughts and feelings now.
You may feel angry, depressed, lonely, hopeless, disappointed, confused, hurt, sad, afraid, confused, empty, guilty, helpless, like a failure, frustrated. You may have times of real panic and worry about your family. You may have lost the confidence of being the Daddy who make's things right. And you may spend a lot of time asking yourself "Why?" This can be one of the toughest times in your life, and it's important to take care of yourself and the hurt you're feeling.
Every man is touched by tragedy at some time. You may find you need to be strong and take control, you may feel like you're taking care of everyone else, making all the arrangements and doing all the work. This can be especially true as you make funeral arrangements and greet family members and friends. After the funeral, though, people are likly to expect you to act as if nothing happened!?
One grief counselor told me...
"In society we're allowed three days of grief...just through the memorial service." You never really "get over" your grief as you begin trying to get back to normal you may find your feelings popping up when you least expect them. Along with some feelings mentioned earlier.
As we approach Fathers Day it has been almost four years since my own fathers passing and I still think of him and miss him almost daily.
Below is some feedback we got a while back. It's about a guy who was truly desperate... didn't know what to
do... where to turn... or even if he'd be able to keep his family together.
I just wanted to let you know the results I've been able to achieve with this online community you've put together here. I think the biggest thing it's done for me is it saved my household. It's allowed me to take care of my daughters , son and my wife something I'd made a promise to my wife when our restaurant business started failing. We had lost about 60% of our clientle, within a period of August- November 2008. It just left us in a real bad situation and we needed to make a change.
Around the same time our daughter graduated from collage and we decided to jump online and see if we could find something that would help us to change our financial situation. And we found your community, you provided us with the tools, with the training, with the support...everything we needed to create a huge success in our lives. And I just wanted to let you know that without us finding you I have no idea where we'd be right now. I have no idea if we would have been able to survive all this and put ourselves in a position to thrive.
affecting change in many people and you've definitely made a huge difference in our lives.
A new study at Harvard University has shown that online treatments are just as effective as face-to-face therapies for a wide range of common disorders.
Some of these disorders include:anxiety, social phobias and depression. These conditions all responded well to clinician supported internet-based treatments.
The online sessions were significantly more cost-effective than traditional treatments, and required as little as a quarter of the amount of time.
one PROFESSOR at the University research involved in this study, stated:
“Only 33 % of people with anxiety or depression seek treatment over a 12 month period, and only one in 10 sees a psychologist. Internet-based programs may play an important role in increasing those numbers.”
dented ego's soon to be launched etherapy offers exactly this! A new simple and cost-effective way of "people helping people" who are otherwise unable to access treatments.
May 5, 2012
"There are few things more unbalancing to the mind than the act of suddenly winning or losing large sums of money" - Henry Howard Harper. "The Psychology Of Speculation" Whether you invest or not isn't important here. What IS important is the mindset described. You have probably heard about people coming into a lot of money very quickly (pro athletes, movie stars, lottery winners, etc) only to end up blowing all their money, getting hooked on drugs and basically ruining their lives. And many times they will say, "it was because of the money." In other words, they couldn't handle it. It's made them very uncomfortable. And, as a result, they dumped all their money (completely subconsciously, via "self sabotage") so they can go back to feeling comfortable again. Don't think it can happen to you? Think again.
The above "QUOTE" is perhaps the most IMPORTANT money STATEMENT ever by one very famous Sportsman.
April 2. 2012
The Mind Is A Most Powerful Thing
"The Mind is a powerful thing," have you really taken the time to reflect on this statement?
The mind can be both powerfully good and powerfully bad.Our mind is constantly firing off thoughts faster than we can comprehend at times. Listen to these thoughts they are there for a reason.
Your mind is brilliant whether you think so or not. Don’t talk yourself out of an idea instead put it out into the world, write it down, tell someone, whatever works for you just do it! Then comes the best part, make it happen!
You never know what Ideas you might be shutting down. Maybe with a little fine tuning of a random thought you could be the proud owner of the next big social networking support site, television show, invention or just helping someone that may be in need by paying attention.
Listen to those voices in your head, believe in them, and let them live.
“The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.” -Winston Churchill
“There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.” -Albert Einstein
February 24, 2012
PEOPLE HELPING PEOPLE WITH COMPASSION, ART, PICTURES AND WRITING WITH SOCIAL MEDIA
At a time when people are becoming more socially isolated from friends in public outings, with fewer strong social connections, research is documenting the profound psychological and physical benefits of connecting with other people in Social Media, ranging from stronger immune systems to greater happiness. But how can we foster this connection? A recent wave of studies is suggesting that art, photography and writing can play an important role. This research suggests that creating art–through writing/photos and other methods–brings many of the same therapeutic benefits as maintaining close hands on relationships. What’s more, studies have found that art through photography, paintings and writing can boost important qualities–including greater empathy–among people who consume art, not just those who create it.
You will learn: A deeper sense of why social connections are important to mental and physical well-being, and how art(s) can provide many of these benefits of social connection. An overview of research on the healing power of art. An understanding of the link between art and compassion and empathy, both for the creator and the consumer of art by reaching out yourself and sharing through all the Social Medias.
Compassion: "to come along side with the passion to help"
January 28, 2012
Feelings of Opportunity
I recently read an article about death.
No, I'm not dying any time soon (as far as I know...) and it's not typically my favorite subject in the world to discuss. But what grabbed my attention was the ramifications death has for entrepreneurs vs NON-entrepreneurs.
Here's the scoop:
The article was about a lady who works in a special hospital where everyone is on their death beds. And she saw two recurring death bed regrets people have before joining the "choir invisible."
The first is not having the courage to go for their dreams.
This is VERY sad, in my opinion.
It bothers me whenever people let fear and social pressure (from family and friends, especially) hold them back from pursuing their dreams.
Entrepreneurs, on the other hand, are contrarian.
We don't care what others think.
We're actually more afraid of NOT trying at all than failing.
And frankly, we tend to THRIVE on naysaying.
Anyway, so that was the first regret.
The other one was:
"I wish I didn't work so hard."
I can relate!
When I was stuck in corporate "servitude" selling Food and Booze 60-70+ hours per week, all I did was work. I barely ever saw my family. And when I did, I was too tired, drained and exhausted to enjoy them.
Today, I still work a lot of hours.
But it's by CHOICE.
And it's not draining... it's invigorating!
Frankly, entrepreneurs are restless unless we ARE working on something (I don't even really like going to bed anymore).
Yes, there's balance (you must have balance).
But work is not "work", it's play.
And thus, I'd bet few (if any) of the people who regretted working so much were entrepreneurs. Most likely they were working for "the man" -- charter members of the "40/40 club." (i.e. working 40 hours per week, for 40 years).
And you know what?
Wasting your life working for someone else WILL cause regrets.
It'll steal your time with your family.
And will never pay you what you're worth.
But like I said, becoming an entrepreneur has NEVER been easier.
Keep on Rocking Your Dreams!!
Gregg Allman: "The Man"
January 4, 2012
dented ed: MY Happy New Year End BLOG Post of HOPE with OPPORTUNITY
As this long year of peeks, valleys and dents comes to a close I find much to be grateful for. We are thankful for our new group of friends here at dented ego on a mission of "people helping people" to choose a path free from drug and alcohol addictions. I have personal real challenges with family members, new friends, long time dear old friends and am amazed each day hearing stories of the disease of drug and alcohol addictions. Young beautiful woman and men, mature and wise people being taken far to early in their lives by this dark sickness. The disease "rouge" brain from drug addiction tricks the addict, lies to them as it pulls like the devil to take the addict down. The diseased "rouge" brain of an addict is so severe that it sells the addict into thinking one more time and I will quit until it wraps it's arms around them for good. It is our Hope here that our dented ego's can help shed some light, that we all can "just do something" by providing an Opportunity to make a choice of a clean and sober living lifestyle.
"Find a Heart that will Love You at Your Worst and Arms that will Hold You at Your Weakest"
0ctober 30, 2011
Refuse to use the term "failure" about yourself or anyone else. When you take a chance and things don’t go as planned, you didn’t fail you only produced a result. Feel gratitude for the life-enhancing opportunity to learn and grow from those results. Now you are free to resume the exciting, inventive, creative path of work that is your life.
“One door closes another one opens!”
October 23, 2011
There is only one thing that I can expect from life with certainty, and that is change. When I realize this, the quality of my life is different. It acts as an intervention on my obsessive thinking. If I understand that I cannot count on my plans working out as I expect them to, perhaps I would be wise to plan differently. Having a plan is fine; it gives my day and life structure. However, when I think that a failed plan is a failed life, I get into trouble. Any good plan leaves room for chance, for the unexpected. It is when I want an event to match the image I have in my mind, or when I cannot leave room for chance, that I become controlling and upset. The world has too many variables for me to count on any one situation working out just as I expect it to; this type of expectation is a setup for disappointment. Today I will try something new, I will make a plan and then let it happen. I expect the unexpected.
"Nothing endures but change" ~Heraclitus
October 13, 2011
"TRUST" YOUR "COMMUNICATION"
By consistently using the techniques of listening, exploring, appreciating and presenting you demonstrate genuine kindness that leads to a special connection with others.
When we communicate with compassion, we speak from our highest consciousness. As we sit back and enjoy the process, all we have left to do is trust.
October 4, 2011
THE ROLE STRESS PLAYS in ALCOHOL AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE
Substance abuse studies have found that many people use alcohol to cope with the stress of modern life. The demands of work, family and finances can be unrelenting, especially for people who have little "Social Network Support." Natural disasters and other tragic events in the news add another layer of stress. Using alcohol to relax and "get away from it all" can be safe in moderation, but attempting to deal with chronic untreated stress by drinking can lead to alcohol substance abuse.
Researchers have found that there appears to be a link between a drinker's early childhood experiences and the use of alcohol to deal with stress. Exposure to traumatic experiences in infancy and childhood may shape an individual's stress response and contribute to a predisposition for alcohol substance abuse. The relationship between stress and alcohol abuse is even more marked when healthy coping mechanisms and a strong social support system are not present.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, children and teenagers who experience trauma from violence or a disaster have a greater change for developing drug or alcohol substance abuse problems later in life. Early intervention for depression and anxiety can help reduce the risk of substance abuse. The Anxiety Disorders Association of America reports that about 20 percent of Americans who have been diagnosed with an anxiety or depression have a drug or alcohol substance abuse disorder. Ironically, the symptoms of one disorder can worsen the symptoms of the other.
While there is no evidence that stress alone will lead to alcoholism, stress can be a factor in alcoholism relapse. Recovering alcoholics who suffer a relapse will often cite chronic stress as the reason that they began drinking again. One way to avoid this type of relapse is by meeting with other recovered drinkers and creating a network of support, hope and opportunity which is our goals at dentedego.com, both problems should be treated at the same time in order to reduce the chances of alcohol abuse relapse.
September 30, 2011
Except when it is not, technology is good for my marriage. Yes, it's a distraction("let me quickly check the news on twitter"). Yes it invades upon quite moments("let me take a quick pic to post on Facebook").
But more broadly, it's a tool that heightens efficiency in tackling the tasks that, left untackled, lead to arguments.
And it helps to increase enjoyment of the things we like to do with our free time, just the two of us and sometimes with the kids. My wife and I really like each other. Yet, marriage-at least for us, at this stage of our life-largely is about tending to responsibilities and dealing with logistics. Technology can be like "Marital Prozac: it isn't a cure-all and there are plenty of side effects, but often it helps take the edge off."
September 28, 2011
Each time we communicate from a place of honesty, it gets easier and the productivity is greater. The evolution requires a certain amount of letting go- letting go of EGO and of race against time. Instead open up to the possibility of taking a leap of faith into the present moment.
September 17, 2011
Seize the Day
Gone are the days when a blizzard of marketing dollars can be used to overwhelm the airwaves,shut out the competition and grab customer awareness. Now customers demands for authenticity, originality, creativity, honesty and good intent have made it necessary for companies and brands to revert to a level of customer service not seen since our grandparents day. When business owners actually knew there customers or guests as I call them, names.
Giving each of then undivided, individual attention!!!
You can hit a "home run", if you are willing to do this with Social Media platforms that carry the consumer, heartfelt passion, leading to "word of mouth" proof that you care about your customers/guests.
"It is time to harness the word of mouth power from Social Media."
September 6, 2011
History repeats itself through Social Networking
It is a choice each day to see and appreciate the beauty that is right in front of us bright and beautiful or walk forward with blinders on. I believe the Government prefers the latter.
Thank you Social Networks for taking us back to where a hand shake means something(without a lawyer), where suspicion is limited and happiness, trust,kindness, care, love exist with others whom we've never met before in person:). This is where the future repeats the past;)
September 3, 2011
The Mind, Body and Sole
After two days of grinding out dented ego's "dents" and 3 hours sleep it come with ease that I find the importance of sleep, exercise and meditation. Not to mention the loss of attention to my love ones, Family which includes Murphy my Lab.
There are many ways to nurture your physical and mental health—and supercharge your body, mind, and soul in the process. Enjoying the affection of a pet, Exercise, hugging a loved one, enjoying a walk outdoors, volunteering your time, spending time with friends, and laughing out loud (LOL) are just some of the many things you can do to gain strength, both inside and out.
SEPTEMBER 1, 2011
dented ego Birthday
It is a launch!! Happy Birthday dented ego!!!
August 31, 2011
Playing Doctor by SELF MEDICATION
” today the journey goes on" so to all the people that are in or affected by addiction in any form is bad. No matter whether the addiction be alcohol, cocaine, morphine, sex or OCD.
“If you take a pill to make everything better, then you don’t know when things are screwed up. If you don’t know when things are screwed up, then you can’t fix it yourself.” Stop the self medication!
August 30, 2011
dents we meet along the way
After leaving my home this weekend to meet a friend and leaving behind my own daily dent challenges within my family. I met a guy struggling, living rough as he sat their looking empty and worthless. This is when you have to stop and take time out, not to preach but to listen. I always try to give people Hope and when they’re ready show them that there is help out there. I told him not to give up, that even in his darkest hour, there can still be light and that he more than anyone had something to offer. You just have to get back on your feet with the right crowd. I look forward to seeing him next week, again at the same spot and will continue to talk to him with hopes of translating a solid message.
A Pat on the Back
"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others."
It is time that we all take advantage of the beauty that surrounds us daily and help one another to see the awesomeness that is right in front of us. I think that will fix many illnesses, problems and sadness moving us to an amazing path ahead.
August 28, 2011
Dance to the Music: Turn my frown upside down
As I turned on my always PLAYING music, I noticed how old my CD player was. Even though my system was so archaic it still puts out such an amazing balanced and deep rich sound. I then applied that model to life and came up with this message:
► Play the moments ▌▌ Pause the memories ■ Stop the pain ◄◄ Rewind the happiness:)
Change is good
"Are you wondering how to get unstuck?" ~ If you have been sitting, stand. If you have been standing, sit. If you have been traveling, stay home. If you have been home, travel. If you have been teaching, learn. If you have been learning, teach. If you have been talking, listen. If you have been listening, talk.
"Change is Good.."
August 26, 2011
The Gift From my Heart
I have found after my many years that living in the past and preparing for the future are not my ingredients to a faithful,happy and balanced path. It is today that is a gift which is why today is the PRESENT. Live, love and smile each day as if it is a gift like no other.
Today is the PRESENT!!
August 25, 2011
My Dream to Reality
"There is a dented ego in all of us…learning to accept one another as we are with the dents we earn along the way. "I like who I am today, I like me with my dents, I love my dented ego."
I write this blog with the above motto and hope we are all able to help as many people as we can with their struggles and their dents.
dented ego is designed for all people around the World with or surrounded by a person suffering and looking for real answers to addictions of alcohol, drugs, OCD, disorders, obsessions,compulsions and depression.
dented ego may just be the website that helps save the World! Our families, our pets, our friends and every one we come in contact with can participate in our movement.
People Helping People!!
August 24, 2011
A New Chapter, Excitment Ahead
As a ex Restaurateur and creator of five amazing, wonderful well received restaurants and still working through the withdrawals of being in the food industry for 25 years (1986-2009). Then forming a company breconcepts - A Concept and Strategies business, all while designing, developing,programming and preparing our dented ego team the past 2 1/2 years, I am pleased to say we are ready to launch. This blog is from the heart and is to provide a place of "Hope," "Opportunity"and "Inspiration" with a path for us all. After serving millions in the restaurant business that caters to all types of people and their problems of addictions, obsessions, depressions and other izums then surviving a suicide of a dear friend and family member, I decided that I wanted to provide a place where people could go and talk as honest and openly (like a bar) or as confidential(like a theripists office) about their problems(dents) which we refer to as dented ego's.
At this stage of life, it is my feeling that everything, including business ventures, is going to be established with the help of the internet/computer/ipads,phone apps for generations to come. We can spread the word with dented ego and technology shareing good helpful thoughts that will bring Hope, Opportunity and Inspiration for happiness to others.
"dented ego, the worlds #1 social networking support site for people in need of purposeful real conversation."